What is Self-Esteem?
It is your self-image or how you feel about yourself. It is made up of thoughts and feelings about yourself - both positive and negative. The more positive feelings you have about yourself, the higher your self-esteem. The more negative thoughts, the lower your self-esteem.
Why is Self-Esteem Important?
It affects the way you live. High self-esteem can make you feel:
- Effective
- Productive
- Capable
- Lovable.
Low self-esteem can make you feel:
- Ineffective
- Worthless
- Incompetent
- Unloved.
Self-esteem is molded by our environment and past life experiences. When unhappy life experiences create feelings of low self-esteem, the self-criticism and negative thinking is learned behavior that can be changed.
Some Common Effects of Low Self-Esteem:
- Lack of self-confidence, afraid of failing
- Some abuse alcohol or drugs to give them confidence
- Poor performance - negative attitude prevents you from making a real effort to succeed
- Distorted view of self and others - always thinking others are better - do not like the way they look - may lead to eating disorders
- Unhappy personal life - negative people are not fun to be around.
Ways of Improving Your Self-Esteem:
- Accept yourself (and others) as you really are, not as you think you should be.
- Pretend you are your own best friend. Describe yourself in a list of qualities as if a friend were writing about you. List all your good qualities and add to it everyday.
- Hang out with people who make you feel good about yourself.
- Focus energy on someone or something other than yourself. Many around you may be lonely. Send someone a card just to say you are happy to be their friend.
- Learn something new everyday. Concentrate on doing things that challenge you but do not overwhelm you. Through challenging ourselves, we take steps towards realizing our potential and building self-confidence.
- Enjoy positive aspects of your life as they come along. Take pride in your achievements.
- Do not overreact to mistakes. Everyone makes them. Try to get rid of negative thoughts by thinking about the successes you have had.
- Take charge of your life. You will feel less helpless. We may not be able to be in control of our circumstances. We are in control of how we react to them.
- Find time for exercise. Spend 30 - 60 minutes, 3 times a week, at the gym, cycling or walking. You will find the physical activity will reduce stress and improve self-esteem.
Source: UVIC Health Services - Wellness Booklet and Self-Care Manual.
Yours for the doing
You can wait for things to get better. You can hope for things to get better.
You can wish for your situation to
improve, for problems to be magically solved. You can come up with a lot of
excuses for not taking action. You can come up with a long list of people to blame. You can desperately believe the empty promises of those who
say they'll make it all better for you.
Or, you can get busy and make things happen. It's your choice. You can either make yourself vulnerable or you can make yourself valuable. You can choose to be a victim or you can decide to be a victor.
Your life is not something that happens to you. The life you experience is a direct result of the way you choose to experience it in every moment. It can be full of pain and despair or it can be filled with joy and accomplishment.
Today is your opportunity to live life on your own terms. You are unique. You are worthy. You are able. You can create greatness in your own life through the way you spend each precious moment. You can. It is yours for the doing, right here and now.
By Ralph Marston
