Although in most abusive relationships the male is the abuser, in some cases, the female can display controlling and possessive tendencies. Are you going out with someone who:
- Is jealous and possessive; won't let you see other friends; checks up on you or won't accept breaking up?
- Pressures you to have sex and tries to make you feel guilty by saying, "if you really loved me you would..."
- Tries to control you by being very bossy; criticizing the way you dress, talk and dance; making all the decisions and ignoring your opinions?
- Has a history of fighting, a bad temper or brags about mistreating others?
- Abuses drugs or alcohol and pressures you to take them?
- Blames you when he mistreats you?
- Has a history of bad relationships and blames the other person for the problems?
- Your friends and family think is dangerous?
If you answered yes to any of these warning signs, you may be in an abusive relationship. Feeling sorry after and asking for forgiveness does not change the behavior. Jealousy and possessiveness are examples of controlling behavior - not love or respect.
You are not alone. You do not deserve to be abused physically, sexually or emotionally. Talk to someone you trust - a friend, a parent, doctor, nurse or counselor. Help is available.
Remember, a healthy relationship should include:
- Trust and support
- Honesty
- Respect
- Equality
- Shared responsibility
- Always feeling safe.
Source: Searle Women's Healthcare
