Pony…from White Biting Dog
Modern – Women
By Judith Thompson (Playwrights Canada Press: 106-107)
(PONY rises, walks to edge of stage, and directs the following speech to where the projectionist would be if the theatre were a cinema.)
PONY: Excuse me, could you call the projectionist, please? He’s my Dad–I just have to talk to him for a second–I know–but the thing can run on its own, we both know that–besides, this is an emergency! Yeah! Thanks, thanks alot…(peering) Dad? I can see the dustbeam but I can’t see you oh there you are hi! Hi…It’s me–no, no I’m not back, I’m not even in the Kirk, actually, I’m just–like this is gonna totally weird you out, but–I had to appear to you like this ’cause–in a couple of hours you’re gonna hear that — don’t freak out–that I passed myself on and–like–I didn’t want you to get too down about it so I thought I’d come and tell you myself that–it’s not at all a bad thing. It’s quite nice if you just give in to it. You know the feeling when you’re falling asleep and ya jump awake ’cause you dreamt you slipped on a stair? Well it’s like if you stayed in the slip–if you dove right down into it and held your breath til you came out the other end. I’m in the holding your breath part right now, so I’m not sure what’s on the other end, but I feel like I’m so big I’d barely fit into the Kirk Community Centre– it’s weird, but… Dad? Dad? The main reason I came was to let you know that I didn’t…kill myself ’cause I couldn’t hack it or because the man I loved couldn’t love me back, it was ’cause…I was invaded, Dad, Dad, filled by the worst evil…you ever imagined–I guess it happened when I fell in love, on account of I had to open my mouth so wide to let the love in that the evil came in, too…and living with it was just liked being skinned alive; worse pain even than your kidney stones, and we know how bad they were. Now the pain has stopped, and there’s still the old Pony to give to my husband: ’cause he needs it, Dad, like a blood transfusion he needs it, and just like Mum would give you anything you needed, I’m gonna give myself to him. No, we didn’t get papers, but he’s my husband all right. His name is Cape Race, like the place, eh? Oh yeah, I told him about your mice and he was really impressed and uh–tell Wade there’s a stereo store down here that’s looking for someone and Mum–tell Mum not to go into the ditch about this ’cause I know they’re gonna let me come visit–to–straighten her fingers and…give her alcohol rubs…Well…I have to finish my dive now…Oh Dad I’m so big now I’d never fit back on earth. Love…Pony.