Estelle…from Cocktails at Pam’s

Estelle…from Cocktails at Pam’s

Modern – Women

By Stewart Lemoine

(breathing slowly, trying to remain calm) No, I don’t. I hate it. Actually, do you want to know what I really hate? I hate the fact that although I despise green pepper, everyone else alive seems to love it. I mean, it really doesn’t bother me so much that I don’t like the taste, because the reasons for that are certainly scientific or medical. No, what bothers me is that everyone else likes it and because they do, it is so much in evidence. On pizza, in salads….The other night I found some in stroganoff! Oh….yuck…

And a myth has sprung up you know. People have said to me, “Well, if you don’t like it just pick it out.” But that’s so stupid. Just because you pick it out doesn’t mean the flavour’s going to go away. Green pepper doesn’t work like that. It is insidious and pervasive, like noxious fumes that kill you and your family while you sleep. Jesus, the way some people talk, you’d think it was parsley! I’ve even seen, yes it’s true, green pepper that’s been sliced cross-wise to make a sort of shamrock shaped ring. That’s supposed to be decorative. Do you believe it? That’s like making a garnish to make the bile really rise up in the throats of your dinner guests!

(Estelle looks at the others who are standing quite motionless)

Look, I know you all like green pepper and so you think I’m over-reacting. But what I’m trying to say is that acceptance of these foodstuffs can never be taken for granted. You can’t assume it. It’s not a given. No. This is something that has caused me a lot of unhappiness and I just don’t want to go through that anymore…………….I do like red pepper though. I want you all to know that.

(The others continue to stare)

Do you think that’s strange?………It’s not strange! Not at all!!! They aren’t the same, no matter what people try to tell you! They aren’t!!!

Canada flag